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Good and Bad Parenting: How to know which one are you?

Many people agree that if a kid is constantly executing poor behaviors, he was raised by parents who do not know anything about parenting. But this is not true. While parenting implies giving birth and nurturing a child, it does not only embody the optimistic side of parenting, for there could also be ‘bad parenting’ which a lot of parents are inflicting in their child unconsciously. Some parents are not conscious of the poor parenting method they are applying, and worst, they mistakenly consider their toxic parenting styles as a good one. But in a psychological view, it is not, bad parenting must be stopped straight away, for it can cause unfavorable effects in a child’s behavior. So, take a few time and evaluate yourself which kind of parenting you are executing all this time.

To begin with, let’s tackle the qualities of bad parenting. Smacking and hurting your child, physically or verbally, will never contribute anything positive to the child. Instead, it may only cause uncontrolled aggression and emotional difficulties. Punishment is not an appropriate option to tame a child, for it only allows a child to resent his parents. It is essential to know that healthy parenting does not require toxic means. Instead, it can be done in a more comfortable and calming way. Good parenting sets limits to the child and makes the child comprehend the boundaries between them. It is important that these limits are being internalized to the kids through the right choice of words, for instance, every time you say to your child: “No biting!” or “A good child does not say words like that.” or it can also be, “Screaming won’t make you a better kid. So stop it, and be good.” According to Ava Siegler, these statements are called “voice of conscience,” and a child needs to carry this until he becomes fully adult, as these little voices will stop him from saying and doing wrong things. But the greatest quality of good parenting is to have the curiosity and interest in knowing your child deeply.

Angela Arnephy, a mother of two daughters and a writer as well, once wonder what could be her babies are dreaming when they smile in their sleep, cry in their sleep, and more. Eventually, she wrote her wondrous quests about it and published a book titled, “What Does My Baby Dream Of?” One way to have a deep understanding of your child is to establish a reinforced relationship with the kid, and the best time to do it is while your child is still a baby, just like what Angela Arnephy did. “What Does My Baby Dream Of?” is a book filled with devout words and illustrations that will arouse your deepest desire to establish a right parenting style. It is a must-read book, especially for start-up parents.

Nevertheless, parenting is not an easy task. It is indeed a responsibility that needs courage, faith, and passion. And just like how parents love their children regardless of how they behave, children must also love their parents regardless of their parenting styles.

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