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A Home Without Fences: Orphans Thought on Parenthood

“An orphanage is a place where you want to call home, but your name never calls you.” —Peter Kamau

Young children long for parental love. It gives them security and comfort from the big world they are living in. For an experienced teacher with children 4-8 years old, having your parents attending the school event is like a trophy. If one in a child did not have his/her parent attend the school event, they would feel they’re left behind, a loser, or worst get bullied. How much more the feeling of a real orphan? They don’t have a parent with them. They were able to grow up and survive life without the presence of a mother and a father. Do having birth parents with you still essential?

Living in an orphanage develops a child’s independence and survival skills more according to studies. They have a fixed and assigned routine from the orphanage caretaker daily, such as mopping the floor, laundry, cooking meals (for older children), and taking care of their hygiene alone. No one is a baby. One rule is applied to all. One mistake is a punishment to all. The imposed discipline shapes the children’s behavior to fully independent as adults because they don’t have parents or relatives to rely on. For some reason, growing up in an orphanage can be an advantage because a spoiled child, on the other hand, tends to be vulnerable and dependent on becoming an adult. 

Carl Anderson brought some marital issues in his book “Mother – Father Complex.” In modern times, being an orphan not only means not knowing who your parents are or losing your parents since birth. At some point, you can reflect on the issues of how children suffer in a broken family set up. One root of children losing a home is a marital issue that leads to divorce. Carl Anderson reiterated the book description that the story is about love, but in reality, there is no perfect relationship. It only needs balance to keep it working. As the author presents it on poetry, the first part of the book shows resentment of the mother being regretful in a selfish man’s relationship. Thus, it reflects the distress of the relationship causing a child to be almost orphaned. Parenting experts and psychologists are endeavored to create studies on how to avoid families’ potential to be broken. Today, more parenting seminars are conducting, and parenting books are published. And this is a good sign.

It was mentioned here in the article the advantage of a child being in an orphanage; however, there is still longing for a child to have parents of their own. That kind of desire is inevitable because it is part of establishing their identity. The hope of the world will come from the basic foundation, which is having a family. Protect your family. Start building strong fences to what you call real home.

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