Toxicity in an environment can really be a challenge, especially if you are trying to develop well-established mental health. Unfortunately, you cannot control others to change their behaviors. Hence, the best solution for that is to leave, find a new place, and grow there as a fulfilled person. However, moving can be hard, especially if the ones causing toxicity are your parents. Since “we owe everything to our parents,” it is disrespectful on their part to point out their mistakes and to disobey some of their ridiculous commands. But, is it really it?
Have you experienced not fulfilling your own dream because your parents want you to pursue their unfinished business which they fail to accomplish in the past? Well, this happens for most children, and it is undoubtedly wistful to see them experiencing hard times to carry through a dream they did not even want in the first place. In addition to that, toxic parents often dismiss their children’s negative emotions to set a lightweight situation. However, this is disastrous for the growth of the child, as the child will learn to repress negative feelings which will cause a harmful mental and emotional effect on a child through adolescence. Another one is parents who are extremely critical to their children; with a constant reminder of a child’s negligence in an irritating tone, things will go nowhere.
Children will never listen to their parents if all they ever hear is anger. Still, with a soothing tone and right words for constructive-criticism, then children will grow into the best version of themselves. Another disappointing trait our parents often display is that their children should be held responsible for their parent’s happiness and success. Experiencing enormous pressure from parents is not healthy for it arouses anxiety and depression; some are even committing suicide.
But the real question about this matter is why we are not allowed to talk about these things, and if we did, why do we come out as a rebellious daughter or son instead?
If parents are allowed to correct their child, will it hurt their pride if their child corrects them back?
Perhaps, we are molded by society and culture not to argue with older people just because they are older than us. And respect should remain in the table even if they’re the ones disrespecting us.
In Carl Anderson’s book: Mother-Father Complex; in which he bravely put into writing his unresolved bitterness regarding his personal life. It was a book of whirlwind emotions, where you get to reconnect your life’s experiences to the words inscribed on it. It may be hard to speak up about our parent’s totally off-putting traits, but reading a book that tackles the same situation provides healing on a deeper level. For this reason, it only proves why the Mother-Father Complex is a crowd-favorite book for everyone.
To sum it up, parents are certainly not perfect. They act good and bad at the same time. But before we complain about some of their toxic parenting habits, have we even analyze ourselves first and ask if we are a toxic child too?